Last night I slept ten hours and suffered ping-pong nightmares. Literally. I couldn't ping that fokken pong to save my life. When I woke up, five drunken Irishmen were being kicked out of my hotel for being too loud. My middle aged Aussie buddy told me that he was up late and saw a butterfly lady fluttering between their rooms. Pretty fun watching them get the boot at 6am. Katchow!
I booked a driving tour for the day. I've spent enough time in Kuta and I wanted to see more of Bali before I planned my move. I may have been hasty in canceling my hotel, however. It's peak season and a lot of the cool little spots are booked up. I have 24 hours to figure it out. I'll find something, but it won't have internet. Probably my last post for a while.
Since I am solo, the tour company put me with a tres-cool Parisian kindergarden teacher named Natalie. Our driver went by Mario. Not his real name, the locals call it a "call-name." You know, in case you're too stupid to learn a Balinese name. So far, I've met a local named Bob and this pretty down cat named Mickey-Mouse. Mickey has a big tattoo of his namesake on his gut. The first time I met him, he jumped up and says (of my shoulder piece) "Aw, fokkin noice tattoo, Boss! Where's that?" I told him California. He started walking with me. The next thing he said, was, "Hey man, Mickey-Mouse likes to smoke marijuana..." Then shrugged and gave me a contemplative look. He calls me California. I call him Mickey-Mouse. It's a thing we have.
If you don't know me, I've never smoked marijuana and I've never lied. I think it's sick and evil and I believe very strongly that anyone who partakes of the Devil's lettuce is on the fast-track to damnation. I, for one, prefer drinking 151, smoking cigs and crushing pills that end in "codin." Hey, the law is on my side, but I like Mickey-Mouse.
Where was I....where am I....
It was cicada o'clock when I left Chicago and it's the same here.
This tour included temples (more about faith next time), a plantation that grew coffee, lemongrass, cocoa, chilis, lemongrass and ginger and is home to a colony of lewak - the critters that eat coffee beans and poop out more expensive coffee beans.
(Coffee, cocoa, lemongrass tea, ginger tea and ginger caramel coffee)
Lunch overlooked a mountain range and some epic platformed rice and vegetable fields.
Finally, the kewp dew grass, a long-tailed macaque sanctuary called "Monkey Temple."
BABY MONKEY PHOTO TIME!
(Cue party lights and dance music)
In case you need a refresher in Balinese Hinduism (I did), within the faith and especially clear in the epic poem Ramayana, monkeys are good and evil joined. Hanuman (the monkey king) is a damn fine chap, but Subali, for instance, has been corrupted and represents a mischievous evil force. Hear no evil see no evil speak no evil, but commit a little, neh?
This is so right on. They go from quietly eating each others lice to fucking battle mode (or battle fucking mode) in the blink of an eye. They also like to steal things. I'd heard this, but seeing it in action is amazing. One kid got his pockets picked. When he didn't find anything, he scampered up and rocked a big piss on the kid's head. It was so awesome.
(Kinda looks like me at 13....the human, not the macaque...although....)
When I started letting them climb on me (oh, you know I did) one tried to eat my backpack and the other tried to steal my earrings. If you show them your hands are empty they lose interest pretty quick. Later, at sunset, we were shooting photos and I foolishly put my sunglasses back on so I could see what I was doing. While I was chimping (looking at my lcd screen to check exposure, freaky amateur style) a sneaky macaque stole my sunglasses. In a second he was over the side of a cliff. A tour guide chucked a bag of zucchini chunks at it and got my glasses back. I literally bowed to this guy. I need my prescription specs. I'm blind as a giant fruit bat without them. We saw those too.
Why do macaques steal things they can't eat? Because they have learned that humans will trade them for things they can. I thought maybe he just thought my shades looked kickass. I am officially a fan of monkeys (and apes, but that's not what I'm talking about).There's a pretty healthy population of macaques here and they live successfully, even butted up against human settlement, but if the forests go, the macaques go too. So, yeah. Fuck that. As I always say, "Up with monkeys, down with junkies," or something.
(For Uncle David) When I asked Mario to play some local Balinese music because I was sick of the USA MEGAMIX TOP 40 bullshit they play absolutely everywhere, he smiled and popped on a cd that started with some Black Eyed Peas travesty and sang along with every word. Sometimes, all of the time, popular North American "culture" (all of the time) makes me want to all the time set myself on fire. All of the time. We are a disease and we are spreading like the plague. If you disagree, feel free to go fuck yourself and listen to bullshit. That's why America is great, that's why America is a disaster. "'Cause baby you're a firework?" Fuck me sideways I hate you.
We are Rome, we are Rome. We are great, we are great. We've built the mighty aqueducts that will shortly kill us dead. We've learned much about much, but not enough about lead.
I'm rethinking everything. Thanks be to all-mighty Atheismo for this time.
Yawn. Leaving tomorrow. Stay classy, Kuta.
Location:Bali, Indonesia
LOL. Local Balinese=BEP's. UGH!You know Iggy Pop turned David on to Balinese Music in a response letter he wrote David on Holiday Inn stationary back in 1995.
ReplyDeleteSpectacular photos of the mischievous Monkey clan.
That boy does look like you at 13. You know sometimes serendipity guides you..maybe he is like a double of your adventurous wide eyed spirit.Ramayana is very close to name I chose awhile back for our new establishment..if we get there.Part being:Rama-kindly-forest saving monkey.
Hey Isaac very cool and I couldn't agree with you more about Rome. Henry Miller said "the fall of America will be like the fall of Rome, but will take longer......there's so much more to destroy!"
ReplyDeleteAnyway I hope he was laughing when he wrote it.
The music you want is Balinese Gamelan music. It's extraordinary stuff. Gongs, hand made metal xylophone-like instruments, and drums. Amazing. One "song" can go on for thirty or forty minutes.
You guys rock! I love that you're reading this. Keeps me bloggin. I sat and ate real fresh made Indonesian food today - spicy chicken, rice, some kind of minced vegetable, and fish satay - while authentic gamelan trembled softly through the crackling sound system. Magic. People here are NICE. Like, real, genuine, nice. It's a little disconcerting. I didn't know people were that way anymore. The farther I get from Kuta, the better this trip gets. Ubud 4 lyfe. Thanks for the tip. I do love gamelan.
ReplyDelete