"Oh we could go kick down some doors together//Stay out 'til morning, sharp as knives//The new war will get you, it will not protect you//But I will be there with you when you turn out the light." -Spoon

This trip has cost a lot.

$50 USD is 1,000,000 Vietnamese Dong. So baller. So confusing. A nice expensive breakfast is 60,000 (I'm treating myself to a bacon and egg breakfast burrito at a cafe in Hanoi, whaaaaaat?). Since you can get an awesome sandwich with pork and pâté next-door for 15,000, you feel pretty ripped off until you remember it's a little less than three dollars. That your tasty sandwich is 75 cents. Fuck. You. San. Fran.

Dollars come and go, and my trip will have cost some of them, but it has cost more in what Newbuddy calls "transactional costs." These are difficult to quantify. On the road, it means wastage. Things that cost less money, but take more time. For a short trip (or any trip) it's crucial to learn basic wastage calculations.



(Newbuddy)

The first fly in the marmalade is that sometimes wastage leads to something you would have missed otherwise. Obviously this is impossible to know for certain, but a cautious balance must needs be struck. Planes are faster than trains and busses, but the latter give you time to meet people and to see the country cascade by. It takes a couple hours to fly to Laos, but it's a relatively pricey ticket. It costs 25$ to take a bus, but it takes 24 hours and apparently getting visa'd up at the border is a hassle. But what if we miss a guy setting fire to a monkey? Or a monkey setting fire to a guy? Damnit!

I barely fit into the seats on the busses, so for me, that small descision has been made. I can do 8-12 hours, but 24 is a stretch - or a cram, or something.



Back at home, I've extended the definition to include the devastation you leave in your wake when you leave. Lost friends, lost jobs, lost love. Fuck, this gets expensive. The hope is that high transactional cost leads to high transactional gain. But it's a gamble of the riskiest sort and the market sucks right now. The house has the odds. So far I'm satisfied with my trade off.

This trip has cost me a business and a job, some friends and acquaintances. It has cost me several delusions including the one that was letting me stay and stay placid in San Francisco - the delusion that I was content. It has cost me a relationship that seemed strong until I prodded at its edges and it dissolved like a sugar cube under a wet, red tongue. It has cost me a lot of patience and the benefit of some doubts. It has cost me a bit of optimism. It has cost me some of my cynicism. It has cost me a lot of my fear.



Thank Blog for this project to keep me centered - even if it falls on deaf ears or blocked ears or no ears at all. At least Zeno likes it, so fuck y'all.

After Asia, I'm meeting a friend in Istanbul for a few days. Then I'm going to San Francisco long enough to line up my ducks. I'm packing into my 2001 Passat and I'm driving until I learn whether there's somewhere on the continent that I want to live. I'm thinking about photography MFA's. If you reside in the states or Canada and I love you, leave me a message and I'll stop for a visit. See some of you soon. Everyone else, eventually.



Oy! Brother Jacob. Glad you had a nice burn. Wanna help me drive some? Lubya.

A million congratulations and a trillion happy returns to my dear cousin and his blushing bride. Thanks for understanding how much I needed this trip. Glad you've found each other.

-Isaac

Location:Hanoi, Vietnam