"Holdin’ on//ten years gone" -Led Zeppelin

Fuck me. It's the 11th of September. 2011. It has been ten arduous years since the same day in 2001, when we were assaulted. The only substantial event in decades where the warfare we bring to so many was brought to our own soil. I'm not anti-American. I love our country and the people who populate it - at least to some extent. And to say the least, the people who died that day were not by any rule the ones who deserved to go - but can I get really real here? Can I waste your time and get really fucking cynical for just a minute? I can wait until you're done beating off, come back when you're ready.

If there's something like a god, it's not going to save us. The punishments are indiscriminate. Without intrinsic value or meaning. Without lesson. Get over it.

We are a disturbed nation. A city on a city on a city at the bottom of a hill of mountainous proportion that looms unflinchingly above us. Our priorities are skewed. Our attitude is unsustainable. If a vast number of people, or a couple crucial ones, don't recognize the fact that we are a flagging power, that we need to learn to play with others, and soon, we're going to start a big war. A new war. A fucking truly un-winnable war. Hi! Drug war, war on prostitution, war on jealousy, war on crime, war on smut, war on faithlessness, war on unfaithfulness, war on terrorism. This is world war three. Play nice, now.

In the meantime, Afghanistan is as un-winnable as they come. How about some diplomacy and patience you fucking warmongers. At the least, how about some military command. How about some goddamn oversight and compassion.

I'll say it. I'll fucking say it if you make me. I've been an Obama supporter for as long as I could manage, and blessings, sir, Mr. President, you did what you could. It wasn't enough. The opportunity was primed, and yet to no avail. It's not all your fault. America didn't give you a chance. The mistake you made was giving America the chance it wouldn't give to you. What did you learn from Clinton? Don't get blow jobs? No, fuck that. How about, don't spend your slim and valuable credibility with this country on an acceptable second term project in the first goddamn term? Universal health care would be nice, but it can't cure nuclear apocalypse, can it? Sorry, sorry, maybe that's covered in the next draft.

Reagan, in his last moments in office, left a note for Bush the First, that said, "don't let the turkeys get you down." It's true. There will be turkeys. I say, sometimes the turkeys gobble a bit of truth. Don't miss out on it.

I'm proud we've made history, sir, I am. And when I tell people in Asia I'm from Chicago, they excitedly say, "Obama!" Where once they said, "Michael Jordan!" Shit, it seems a bit trivial, don't it? We'll see.

But, as a lovely and intoxicated girl from Manchester scrawled in pen on my arm tonight, before slipping on the bowling alley floor, hitting the ground hard and getting embarrassed, "I HEART AMERICA DESPITE ITS MANY FLAWS." I wish I could make these things up.

Right after she fell, my friends and I realized it was midnight and it was the eleventh of September. How apropos. How horrible.

As a crucial side note, it is the anniversary of the birth of a dear friend, who I miss terribly and will see shortly, and the death of a dear and unwarrantedly kind Asian dwarf hamster. You live in our hearts, Justice.

I'll tell you about Laos tomorrow. I'll share my silly pictures and stories of getting grifted and asinine articulations tomorrow. I'll start titillating and stop preaching after a long sound sleep. After you've read this and let it stew a bit. Good flavor comes only after a nice, long stew.

Eat your heart, Obama. It will give you strength. And it won't serve you in our star-strangled land. You aren't a bad president, but you aren't the great one we needed.

Location:Luang Prabang, PDR Laos